Upright

I used to hear the harmony

in my head back when I sang alto like a natural  

calling out the flat notes 

made me feel savvy and capable. 

I also played these notes on the upright piano my parents had rented for me 

it’s how I fell in love with music, humming melancholic melodies to myself at night 

but I loved the style of this upright as much as I loved the idea my mother went to the expense of having her daughter study music

tutored by nuns, no less

when I practiced, I hoped that despite the din and effervescent undercurrent in our house, the sweet sounds I made reached my father’s ears and heart

with conscientious discipline, 

I perched on the antique stool 

practiced hours for the spring musical performance 

tunes from “The King and I” played

without an ill-spent note

though I could have evoked a little more fourth-grade passion

and not have worried so much about the lofty manner by which I dreamed piano 

taking the stage

in my new nylon stockings

kitten heels 

fancy flowered dress 

applause that made me feel like a rising, singing star