I used to hear the harmony
in my head back when I sang alto like a natural
calling out the flat notes
made me feel savvy and capable.
I also played these notes on the upright piano my parents had rented for me
it’s how I fell in love with music, humming melancholic melodies to myself at night
but I loved the style of this upright as much as I loved the idea my mother went to the expense of having her daughter study music
tutored by nuns, no less
when I practiced, I hoped that despite the din and effervescent undercurrent in our house, that my father would hear the sweet sounds meant just for him
in conscientious discipline,
seated upon the spinning stool
I practiced hours for the school spring musical
tunes from “Carousel” without an ill-spent note
though I could have evoked a little more fourth-grade passion,
appear more into it
and not have worried so much about the lofty manner by which I dreamed piano
taking the stage my first time wearing nylon stockings
kitten heels
fancy flowered dress
applause that made me feel like a rising, singing star